Fire and Ice
by WeasleySeeker
Summary: Sirius and Emmeline have a somewhat... unconventional relationship. How is she affected by his conviction?


Emmeline Vance was the fiery one of the Gryffindors; the one with the attitude that the teachers should have hated but couldn't, because she was also charming and talented. She was the leader of the group, the one everyone wanted to be like. She was the beautiful one who all the boys were after.

Which was why it wasn't entirely surprising that she often ended up in deserted broom cupboards with _him_. The handsome one, the heartthrob. Sirius Black. She could still remember the first time it happened. It was during their fifth year after a particularly successful Quidditch game, and the after party, and both of them were very tipsy. Neither of them had spoken about it afterwards, because there was no need to. They carried on as if it had never happened. Except for the fact that it happened again. Several times. But there was no regularity to their encounters. It was accepted, _expected_ even, that they would be with others in between, but they were always drawn back together. Because it was _good_. The fire. They craved each other's passionate words, kisses, touches... it was purely a physical thing.

But then why was she always drawn back to him? There were plenty of other people who would be willing to give her that. Why was it _Sirius_ that Emmeline could not stop thinking about? Why was _Sirius_ the one that made her heart race like nobody else could?

Her friends didn't understand their relationship at all. They were always asking questions:_ isn't it awkward when you see each other around school?_ "No, we're completely relaxed around each other. We're around each other every day in life, we're used to it now." _Does it hurt you to see him with other girls?_ "Not really - it's not like we're going out, or anything. Both of us can do as we please." _How far have you got?_ "Classified." _Do you love him, Emmeline?_

_Do you love him?_

"Of course not," was her answer.

But like most of the other answers she gave them, it wasn't entirely truthful.

She didn't just like Sirius for his physical attributes. He was handsome, yes, but he was also funny. Other people found his brand of humour exceedingly irritating, but Emmeline adored it. It made him, well, _him_. Sirius was just one of those people that made you feel at ease when he was around, because he didn't care what others thought of him. He didn't have a care in the world.

Sometimes Emmeline wished she could tell him how she really felt. She wished that they could be normal, that she could sit with him at mealtimes, call him her _boyfriend_, be a "common room couple". But that wasn't Sirius's style. He was far too free-spirited, he would never want to settle down like that. And he probably didn't even feel the same way about her. She didn't want to tell him and risk embarrassing herself, and risk having to end their... arrangement. Besides, she knew that they were fire and fire, that they would clash, that they couldn't sustain that kind of relationship; they weren't compatible like that. But she could still pretend, and wish.

* * *

But, of course, it did have to end, as they left school and, frankly, realised that they needed to grow up. Although they were both in the Order, their missions never seemed to overlap, and they barely had any contact.

That didn't mean that she had forgotten him, though. She still had the memories, still dreamt about the time they had spent together. She still knew what was real and what she had imagined.

Until that day.

Emmeline saw it with her own eyes. She couldn't deny what her senses told her. The street blown apart, thirteen people killed. Peter Pettigrew blasted to pieces. The Ministry officials appearing, the Dementors carting him off to Azkaban. She could remember flashes, a rapid string of vivid pictures. _They_ filled her dreams after that. She was sure of nothing, now. _Sirius_, the laughing, carefree boy of her memories, the one who betrayed the Potters. A traitor. How had she made such a dramatic misjudgement? If he, of all people, was on the Dark side, who else? Who could Emmeline trust now?

She resolved, from that day on, to trust no-one.

She stayed loyal to the Order; she was still regarded as a powerful witch. But she was never again the leader, the idol. She was always forgotten, tagged on at the end. Because the fire was gone. All that was left was cold, and emptiness.

Sirius was released, of course, proved innocent. But the damage had been done. Emmeline could no longer sift through her memories and distinguish what was true and what was false. And besides, his fire was gone too.

Azkaban had changed him. He tried to entertain everyone, to boost the morale of the Order, but the carefree days of his youth were gone; he could smile, he could laugh, but it couldn't dissipate the sunken look in his eyes. And there were days, Emmeline noticed, when he seemed like he just didn't want to live. The scowl on his face, which seemed to make ever more frequent appearances, did not suit him. His hands clenched into fists. He was bitter. There were days when he got so angry at the world that even Remus couldn't calm him. Days that he shut himself up in his room with Buckbeak, refusing to speak to anyone. Days that he was completely unrecognisable from the happy, uplifting figure he used to be.

He wasn't the same man. And she wasn't the same woman. There was no chance for them. The war had broken both of them.

* * *

**A/N: I re-read this and thought this: OMG I must have hated the world that day, haha. This is by far the angstiest (lol is that even a word?) thing I've ever written, and is not my usual style, so more than ever, reviews would be very much appreciated!**

**This is for the First War Competition on HPFC, and I was given Emmeline as a character which, I will admit, freaked me out a bit as we know so little about her. And then I remembered reading her paired with Sirius, and thought I'd give that a shot!**

**Thanks to kci47 for the beta job :) ****And J K Rowling owns all of this, as always.**


End file.
